“It’s the meaning we give to the person that hurts us; not the person.” Unknown
It’s beyond difficult to live within the mind of another person, it is as difficult to live within ourselves. This is the reason why it’s impossible to truly understand how another person feels. What another person’s intentions are. It is only the meaning we give to a person that aligns with whom we think a person is in any situation. That is why we get hurt, it isn’t the person, it’s our own fault.
Think about a time you text someone while you were in a bind or caught inside a room of emotions. You extremely need an answer. The person replies, “Hey.” You follow up with your question, and now eternity happens with no reply. You’re in a state of urgency, you would’ve replied already. Your emotional state and urgency of the situation is now their emotional state. But only in your mind. Their actual state is unknown. They may be busy or unable to text. Or simply put their phone down and happen to walk away. As their state is unknown to you, your state is unknown to them. It is our subjective definition of the situation that hurts, not them.
Understand your feelings in the situations you are in. Own those feelings and don’t reflect them upon others. This alone removes the hurt you believe you are receiving from others.
“Owning your own feelings, rather than blaming them on someone else, is the mark of a person who has moved from contracted to expanded awareness.” Deepak Chopra