Why being alone is more important!

Why being Alone is more important!

Recently, pass 2 years, I’ve told people I’m the most selfish person I know, many reasons mold this statement. Depending on the content of our conversation this can come off negative or surprising. Why would you want to continue talking to me, right!! We’ll get back to this I assure you. Why be alone in a time when social acceptance is often highly regarded as a pinnacle in one’s personal accomplishments.

I find that stories always help. I was out having an amazing lunch, alone of course.

Server comes and gives me water, “let me know when you are ready to order”, she says.

“Thank you”, with eye contact I reply.

I seem to find that as a missing part of the puzzle these days. People don’t look others in the eye, or don’t take their sunglasses off. We are all human right, kindness to one another would be cool, servers work hard!!

Soap box done.

“Of course” she says with a nice nod!!

I order and then retire to my cell phone. Facebook, Instagram, and text messaging, you know checking on society and all my friends, till my order comes. Her coworker shows up and delivers my order.

She asks what else I need. I reply. She gets what is additional and comes back. As she looks at me for clearance that she can move on…

I say, looking at her, “thank you”!! Kind face in appreciation and all.

She leaves and nothing.

No reply, no acknowledgement, I would have thought she wasn’t done, there wasn’t any kind of closing. Gone with the Wind!!

What is anyone left to think? I’m sure many may have accurate judgments of the type of person she is. I know I have had those before.

Before?

Yeah before I started doing things for myself. All my actions in life directly reflecting on who I am and what I believe in. I don’t look someone in the eye and say thank you for them. I don’t do it so they reply in reflection with a “you are welcome.” My intentions are about me!! Not about how someone else chooses to reply or act or live. I live for me. I try and be not an acceptable part of society. I try and be the part the brings the average up. And not for society I do it because I believe that is who I am. If I only acted in responds to other than they are my leash holder. I said thank you because I was, not because I want her to validate that I did the right thing, with a ricocheted “you are welcome!!”

I spend time alone even in social setting because the only acceptance that matters is mine. I’m my boss and best friend; if I don’t accept all of me I must work to achieve that. Why should anyone else accept me?  So I spend time alone reflecting what I said I would do, what I believe I must work on, and finally did I do it. I don’t judge myself, I encourage and support, because I’m also my head cheerleader.

Selfishly I work on reaching my potential and abilities. Progression in life is motivation and eventually leads to happiness. The happier I am the more I can help others. Which makes me happy. So I guess that makes me selfish!!! With a positive intent of course.

Which is important!

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